So, do all men cheat? I asked my husband as I read the news headlines on MSN, yesterday.
There was a pause.
Honestly...I don't know, he answered. I mean, no, all men don't cheat. But...I know what you're saying and...I don't know.
Just so you know, I looked him in the eye, I would not be happy if you did this.
Just so you know, he looked back at me, I never would.
And I know, though we have our Oh-my-god-I-can't-even-stand-to-be-around-you-right-now rough patches, as any married couple does, that trust is not an issue for us. But, oh. The power that we people have, the power we wield, simply through our words and actions, is incredible. We have the power to create life Yes, let's have another baby! and the power to change a life Let me love you and the power to cause such great pain Can you forgive me? so as to alter the course of a life, forever. The idea that we all, each of us, have such power, and that we are all, each of us, so vulnerable to the actions of one another, is enough, at times, to bring me to my knees.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
In Which I Wonder About Things
Posted by Jennifer at 12:45 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
20 comments:
Thank you, everyone who has emailed and asked about me and where I've been. I've been...well, there's been a lot going on. Good stuff and not so great stuff, and the end result is that I just haven't felt very chatty lately. But we're all healthy (no worries there!) and I woke up today, feeling ready to come out of my cave now. So, here I am. Off to check out, now, what's been going on with all of you...
I have missed you my friend!
So glad to hear from you J. You know I've had my cave moments (and more than moments) as well. It's important to listen to yourself.
Hugs to you-
That last paragraph really resonates with me today, especially the power of Let me love you power to change a life.
As for your comment, I'm trying not to read between the lines, but it's not going so well. Regardless, I'm glad you're out of your cave, and I hope the not so great things are outweighed by the good things.
wow, you went to a totally different place with that news. I'm really angry with the Edwards - not so much about the affair - that's their private business, frankly - but with how they handled it all. both of them. if he were the (presumptive) nominee right now? good-bye election. really irresponsible to the country (and to his family, but they can deal with that themselves.. but when you're running for president, dude, you cheated on ALL of us)
btw, i think it's time to change your quote of the week. ;)
Maybe it's always happened. Maybe we just hear about it more now. With famous people, I'm sure it's the media that's the reason we hear about this stuff so much now. Frankly, I don't like to hear it.
We ALL are vulnerable. We ALL make mistakes. And sometimes these types of things "just happen" and no one knows why. And it's not just men, I think it happens more than we all think. WHY??? I have no freaking clue, I'd love to know why.
This is a very power post, esp one to come out of cavedom for. But, you are a very powerful woman. HUGS to you, just because. :)
Aw, Sin, don't worry. I'm sorry to be so vague. It's all a crappy business/financial situation and I can't write publically about it. But everyone in my little family is all still happy, healthy and still in love with each other. So what's really important is okay. The rest is stressful and worrisome but we'll get through it.
PM, I think I'm just beyond being angry about this kind of thing now. I've moved into..."acceptance"...? Or, at least, I'm not surprised anymore. Disappointed, but not surprised. But, you're absolutely right: he had no business doing this while running for president, because then, yeah, he is cheating on all of us. What's between married people is between married people, but when he had hundreds of thousands counting on him...GRRRR. Beyond irresponsible.
As for my quote...maybe I just need to change the title to Quote of the Year. Ha!
Andie, Dawn, Hudd, your comments are so nice to read. Thank you, friends.
Welcome back, Jennifer! I'm sorry things are not so fun right now, but I'm glad everyone is well, and I'm glad to "see" you again :)
And Edwards? I don't even know what I think. This just took me by surprise. I don't know why. But if I hear many more of these kind of stories, I think I'll just start assuming that all politician's words and morals are questionable.
Glad to see you back among the living!! Missed you. Yes, this news is far too common and way too sad. I'd like to believe what politicians say - wow, can some of them make you want to. But I don't believe 98% of what any of them say.
glad you're back among us! you've been missed and i feel betrayed just as the others do. and he's right here in my backyard...ugh!
before i had read your post i had asked dh the exact same question _ what is it about them? or all of us? i know women are not immune< just never seems to become as public< you know?
Welcome back, friend!
I can't even read about the Edwards business...I don't know, those types of things just weigh me down, and I stick my head in the sand.
So good to see you again!
This issue brings up some thoughts for me. Maybe I should come out of my *cave* and blog it. ; )
Liesl, Dina, Ames, Aliki, HaH -- it's so nice to see familiar names pop up here. I've missed connecting with all of you. And yes...yes, about politicians. I'm in agreement with all of your "Guess we can't trust any of them" sentiments. Though...I wonder if they are just the ones who are caught, as there is so much scrutiny paid to every move they make? Did anyone see the actual interview with JE? He said something veerrry interesting: (I'm paraphrasing) that the whole process of rising up the political ladder, the process of running for president, really feeds the ego and really creates a situation where "you think you can do anything you want to do". I found that very telling. And, very true, I would imagine. It's a crazy business. (NOT an excuse -- not at all. But interesting. Power is a dangerous drug, imo.)
I was quite disappointed by the Edwards news. I really wanted to believe he was a good guy. Maybe he is mostly a good guy, but this kind of thing leaves a very bad taste. It's slimy, and SO disrespectful of his family. I feel awful for his wife and kids. (And painted maypole has an excellent point about what this could have done to the election if he were either the presidential or the VP nominee. Yikes.)
I hope the matter that drove you into the cave gets resolved soon, Jen. I'm glad to see you posting again, and I'll be thinking of you.
Stephanie
I was so sad to see that he'd do that...
And to answer your question, no, not all men cheat. But more than we think do. Usually they just don't get found out. :(
Well. I know what you mean. Almost all of Ben's friends are adulterers, and sometimes I wonder how he is not one. I have told him that if he goes alone to (Thailand, Costa Rica, Tijuana, other adulterous destination, fill in the blanks) I will have moved out by the time he comes home. That is the deal, and he knows the choice. So far, I have not had to move out.
I don't know, SH. Once upon a time we both had a "Cheat and it's over" understanding. But now, 13+ years into this thing I have with my husband...I don't know how easy it would be to walk away. I also don't know how easy it would be to continue on, after that trust had been broken, but...I just don't know. Too many factors involved to "what if" about it, I suppose. *sigh*
And you just know that little baby is his. Imagine how she will feel when she grows up and sees the tapes of him denouncing her.
It will all come out. It always does. The timeline won't hold up and since this woman made film there will be pictures. His judgement is horrible.
I am 21 years into mine. And I am one of the luckily marrieds. An affair would cause pain and recrimination, but there is way too much history to let any one thing derail the whole thing.
Post a Comment